Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
