I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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