My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
