Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is the high leading the old right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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