i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
