Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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