I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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