I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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