Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ugly people sure do ruin things
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I need a burrito and a hug.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
