Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
