Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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