I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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