I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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