Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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