Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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