I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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