Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
