I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
