All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
