I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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