All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
