wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
