Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
