i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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