Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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