yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize