Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
