I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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