He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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