the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
