i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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