so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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