wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
