This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
where does the pee come out of this thing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
