It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
