i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
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