It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
