when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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