it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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