Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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