You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
