How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want to fling myself into the sun
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
