Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
