I am spending my child support on dildos
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
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So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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