; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
