1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize