Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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