Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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