Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
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He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
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Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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