idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
