This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
