i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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