apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
