And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
