Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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